Blizzard Entertainment is excited to announce an epic one-day sale on Diablo loot! Who needs to beat on another Treasure Goblin when you can have a slice of Sanctuary shipped right to your doorstep? Choose from these five new officially licensed Diablo products, each crafted with an attention to detail and quality that would make Haedrig the Blacksmith proud. Don’t delay: these items vanish after today!

Hammer Pajammers

Stop . . . Comfy Time.

Hammer Pajammers redefine style and luxury with a striking pattern and extra-extra-roomy fit. 60% cotton, 30% Forgotten Soul, 10% Unknown. Available in sizes Wide–3X Wide.

Careful—the sight of these are sure to stun your friends.

Portal to the Cow Level Pillows

This item does not exist and is unavailable for purchase. Any attempts to purchase this product (which doesn’t exist) will be denied. In fact, how did you get here? What is “here?”

Thank you for your interest in this product.

Henri’s Perquisition Cat Harness

Keep tabs on your tabby throughout every adventure! For the feline fanatic on the go, this safe and stylish cat harness will charm friends and strangers alike.

Henri sold separately. Warranty not valid in Sanctuary, the Burning Hells, or Delaware. Blizzard Entertainment is not responsible for emotional scarring resulting from salvaging this item.

The Cookbook of Tyrael: Expert Meals for the Novice Eater

Does your stomach feel strange? Are you new to digestion and the complications of being mortal? Tyrael’s cookbook details recipes and portion sizes to ensure that even the newly human can enjoy earthly meals without intestinal distress. Etched into its faintly glowing pages you’ll find everything to sate your appetite, from the modest Salad of Lorath to the extravagant Horadric Hamburger.

Don’t leave the High Heavens without it.

Angry Chicken Knitted Doll

Get the full Witch Doctor experience from the comfort of your own home with the Angry Chicken Plush Doll. Just give the belly a squeeze and, after a short two-second delay, watch as a fiery conflagration consumes your surroundings. It’s great at parties!

Caution: This item contains materials that may be hazardous to your health and known to the city of Westmarch to cause spontaneous combustion. Blizzard Entertainment is not responsible for items destroyed in shipping.

Also Coming Soon:

• Monk LED Sweeping Wind Desk Lamp
• Black Hole Trash Can
• The Black Soulstone (Blizzard Entertainment will not be held responsible for absolutely anything that happens as a result of this purchase.)